Day Twenty-Two

the struggle gets harder & harder. i've never been fat before. i am overweight. officially. not just in my head like before. it was my birthday weekend, so i just ate whatever i wanted. pig. my bf bought me a bikini. it fits, but shows my rolled-over gut, my cottage cheese thighs & touching inner thighs. disgusting disgusting disgusting. if i squeeze my calves, i can see the beginning of cottage cheese calves even! something must be done. exercise bulimia, here i come. mark my words. i will regain my body. it will not take over.