Day Thirty-One

Pepsi for breakfast. mmmm . . . i go to the nutritionist today at 5:15. we'll see how that goes. she still hasn't cashed my check from 6/23. i hate when people hold onto those for a long time. stresses me out wondering when they're going to finally be cashed.

Day Thirty

worked out this morning. proud of myself for doing it. i cheated though and had a piece of beehive pie for breakfast. it's my coworker's bday today. i'm eating cottage cheese right now & will add some lunch meat soon. man, i want that other piece of beehive!!

Day Twenty-Five

i exercised after work yesterday as promised. 2 days in a row! i'm taking a break today, but will get back on the saddle again tomorrow when i get up. ate pretty healthy today, cept i just had part of a chocolate bar. not all of it though! my bf and i just had a talk about my lack of wanting to have sex since i don't feel attractive with all this extra weight. maybe he finally understands.

Day Twenty-Four

didn't sleep very well last night. i laid in bed for what seemed like hours until i fell asleep. maisie woke me up at 7 to let her out. i knew i needed to go work out since i was up, but i was so darn tired. i'm gonna make myself work out when i get home instead.

breakfast: kashi bar, can of cherry coke, 1 cup coffee
lunch: 1/2 piece of grilled chicken, 1 roll, 1 glass coke
dinner:

Day Twenty-Three

i woke up early & worked out for 1/2 an hour. i'm so proud of myself. i was definitely feeling the burn! afterwards, i showered, then went to the store to get the components for my diet. i haven't been following it for a good week & a half. once my food supply runs out at home, i seem to revert back to old habits. i'm back on my cycle again, as of today. i have a dr's appt for my meds today at 1:50. i'm going to ask her to put me on time release depakote. i can't seem to remember to take the 2nd one each day like i'm supposed to. i'm a shove-all-the-pills-down-my-throat-in-the-morning type of gal. there's no deviation to the plan.

breakfast: 1 cup kashi cereal, 1% milk, 2 cups coffee
lunch: 6 cheese cubes, 1 cup cottage cheese, 3 turkey slices, some raw carrott sticks.
dinner: cheeseburger with mozzarella cheese

Day Twenty-Two

the struggle gets harder & harder. i've never been fat before. i am overweight. officially. not just in my head like before. it was my birthday weekend, so i just ate whatever i wanted. pig. my bf bought me a bikini. it fits, but shows my rolled-over gut, my cottage cheese thighs & touching inner thighs. disgusting disgusting disgusting. if i squeeze my calves, i can see the beginning of cottage cheese calves even! something must be done. exercise bulimia, here i come. mark my words. i will regain my body. it will not take over.

Day Fifteen

Fatter than ever. I tried crossing my legs today, since I'm wearing a skirt, and I couldn't cross them comfortably. They don't fit together nicely anymore. I need my bf to get our dvd player working so i can do my workout dvds. i need it done tonight before i get any bigger!